She comes from the land of the ice and snow, with the midnight sun, where the ARVO flows
FROM THE VAULT: April 5, 2013
Holmfridur's been getting off too easy lately, fellow FutureBranders. But with recent target Daniel terrorizing the taxi drivers and wait staff of Barbados this week, we thought it appropriate to dedicate today's ARVO to the birthday gal.
Much like Mark Thwaites or the redwood trees of northern California, there exists no reliable documentation to know just how old Holmfridur now isin earth years at least. Some say she pre-dates dinosaurs. Others claim it was she who Moses presented the Ten Commandments to. And after several rounds of refinement, re-presented them to. This is not to imply our favorite Icelander is getting, dare we say, long in the tooth. In fact, just the opposite. For unlike the rest of us, the ravaging effects of time's passing do not seemingly apply to Holmfridur.
Perhaps she attributes her youthful glow to a traditional Icelandic diet of seared lamb's head, salted cod and the pickled souls of henpecked proposal writers. Or better yet, maybe she's a primordial deity, here since the dawn of time, responsible for coordinating the Big Bang kickoff meeting.
To determine someone's true age, benchmarks must be established and measured. Minutes, days, months and years tracked. Candles lit. Candles blown out. But Holmfridur, as anyone who's ever been in the office early or on a red eye flight with her, knows that she does not sleep. Ever. Rumor has it she doesn't even blink. It's too inefficient an activity. While Darren and Daniel are up in first class dining on caviar and enjoying deep tissue massages, Holmfridur is hanging upside down in coach like a Viking vampire, tip tapping away on the world's most overworked laptop.
But whether she's 29 or 7 million years old, Holmfridur is known for keeping her promises. And several months ago, all the way back in January in fact, she promised to attend one ARVO per month. So far, she's 0 for 3. But maybe, just maybe, and especially if we pick a classy joint like Watering Hole, she'll grace us with her presence this evening.
Please join us - and Holmfridur! - tonight, 6 pm-ish at Watering Hole around the corner. We'll raise a glass of Brennivín and toast to her birthday and our dearly departed brothers, Nick, JD, Josh and Stephen.