It’s beginning to look a lot like ARVO

FROM THE VAULT: December 7, 2012

'Twas the morning after ARVO, and all through the office,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Darren Horwitz.

Spreadsheets were hung by the strompinn with care,
In hopes that Holmfridur soon would not glare.

The Joos were nestled all snug in their beds,
While revisions of the SAE logo danced in their heads.

And Mark in Adidas, and John in his cap,
Had just settled down for a post-hangover nap.

Then from the lobby door there arose such a clatter,
We spit out our Advil to see what was the matter.

When what to our bloodshot eyes should appear,
But an arms-flailing German, red-faced with no cheer.

"Das is bullshit!", he said, and then "vut the hell!"
In an instant we knew it must be Daniel.

“Where are all zee Americans who work in zis place!?
You drunkards! You boozers! Did you fall on your face?”

More rapid than deadlines his curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name.

“Now Henri! Now Quae! Now Stephen and Martha!
On JD! On Scott Williams! On James and Tantika!
To your desks right away, with no Starbucks detours.
Now sober up! Sober up! Sober up all!”

Calm down Daniel, we said, and please put down your Glock,
Most FutureBranders don't show up til at least 11 o'clock.

“Then no more snack products and no more fizzy water!
No more Taco Bell runs for burritos at the border!”

What's the problem, Daniel, why do you need us so soon?
Can't the staff meeting wait til late afternoon?

“No it can not, I have no more patience!
I'm all set to leave on a 5-week Caribbean vacation!”

And with that and a dash of his puffy coat he was gone,
Leaving Lloyd Blander in charge to finish this song.

Lurking and smirking in his French Canadian way,
Lloyd proclaimed "Happy ARVO to all” and to all an "oy vey!"