Old MacARVO had a bar
Old MacARVO had a bar…
D-U-K-E-S
And at this bar we got hammered
Three sheets to the wind
With a lunchtime Bud here
And a trashcan punch there
Here a shot
There a shot
Everybody take a shot!
Old MacARVO had a bar
Right across the street.
Old MacARVO had a bar…
WILD-WOOD BAR-B-Q
And at this bar our numbers grew
From 10 to 62
With American Airlines here
And USAA there
Here an Axalta
There a Baxalta
Everywhere a heavy industrial
Old MacARVO had a bar
That smelled like suckling pig.
Old MacARVO had a bar…
VIC & AN-THO-NY’S
And at this bar our bill went up
To Mikey D’s dismay
With a flute of Cristal here
And a round of single malt there
Here a martini
There a bellini
In a place so stinkin’ cheesy.
Old MacARVO had a bar
Sven, where’s your AMEX?
Old MacARVO had a bar…
SHAY-AY-ADES OF GREEN
And at this bar we chugged Guinness
Like it was our job
With a black and tan here
And an Irish car bomb there
Here a bender
There a Blander
Everywhere a tanked designer
Old MacARVO had a bar
Crap, I lost my keys.
Old MacARVO had a bar…
EVERY-WHERE IT SEEMED
And at these bars we got closer
To the waitstaff than our families
With an Old Town here
And a Watering Hole there
Here an Ainsworth
There a Churchill
Everywhere a 2 for 1 special
Old MacARVO had so many bars
Like a Chinese food buffet.
Then Old MacARVO moved uptown…
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
The bars were full of finance bros
D-I-C-K-S
With a Hudson Malone here
And a Crimson & Rye there
Here come the Brits
With our pink slips
Everybody hit the bricks!
Now Old MacARVO drinks at home
Because he got laid off.